


Amor Vitae Meae

by SilverInk



Series: In Which I Fix Morse's Love Life [1]
Category: Endeavour (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cheesy, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, My First AO3 Post, Romance, but Monica makes it better :), like really cheesy, morse being angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:37:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6828010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverInk/pseuds/SilverInk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Love of my life"</p><p>I didn't like how they treated their relationship in the third season so I made some changes :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amor Vitae Meae

**Author's Note:**

> So Idk if anyone besides me even still ships these two, but here ya go, enjoy!!  
> Also this is my first post on AO3, so I would appreciate any feedback from more knowledgeable fans!!

When Endeavour was finally released from prison, Monica was expecting him to be a little withdrawn and nervous at first and was fully prepared to give him space if he needed it, but what she wasn't expecting was for him to distance himself almost entirely from her. Even less was she expecting him to hand her a piece of paper with an address and phone number on it and say, "I have to leave. Probably for a long time. This is where I'll be if you need to find me. But don't tell anyone unless it's absolutely necessary. Please, Monica," he added pleadingly when she opened her mouth to protest.  
  
"But, Dev—what? Why are you going? And it's so far away! When will you come back? Why are you leaving like this?" She asked, her mind swirling with confusion and disbelief. He was very tense and seemed to be struggling to maintain composure, and he flinched a little when she put a hand on his arm.  
  
"I—I can't—" his voice broke and he took a deep breath, licking his lips. "I have to go, Monica." He swallowed hard. "We can't see each other any more." His voice was thick and there were tears pouring from his eyes.  
  
"Dev," she said, her own eyes clouding, "please don't. I love you." And she placed a tender kiss on his lips, her thumb brushing his cheek.  
  
"I love you too," he replied with feeling. "That's why I've got to go." He kissed her desperately, and Monica could feel him trembling. He really didn't want to leave her, she was sure, but nevertheless, he picked up his suitcase and record player and said, "Goodbye, Monica." Then he turned and walked quickly outside without a backward glance. Monica watched him get into a cab and followed it with her eyes until it disappeared, a desperate, crushing feeling in her chest, and she cried for a long time afterwards. The next day she tried to call the number Endeavour had given her, but he didn't pick up.  
  
"You'll find a real nice bloke who treats you like a queen, don't you worry," her friends at the hospital told her. "He was never good enough for you anyway," her closest friend, Marie, said, a statement that was met by resounding agreement and indignant huffs of "Damn right he wasn't!" She appreciated the gesture, but she couldn't help but think, 'I don't want anyone else; I want Dev!'  
  
Over the next several months, Monica went on a few dates to try and get over Endeavour Morse, but unsurprisingly, they failed. One man reminded her so much of him—slim build, red hair, posh Oxford accent—that she accidentally called him "Dev" at the end of their first date. After that, she decided it'd be better to stay single until she got over him.  
  
Then, one day she saw his boss, DI Thursday, on the street.  
  
"Afternoon, miss," he said, tipping his hat. She smiled and returned the greeting, and was about to continue on when he asked her if she knew where Morse was living by any chance?  
  
"I don't think he wants to be found," she said a little sadly. "He told me not to tell anyone unless it was important."  
  
"This is important, miss. Can you tell me where he is?" Mr Thursday looked slightly sad, perhaps because his bagman's relationships always seemed to end tragically. The thought sat heavily in her chest, and Monica quickly dismissed it, mentally shaking her head. She fished the now crumpled paper with Dev's address on it out of her purse, and handed it to Mr Thursday.  
  
"Thank you, miss," he said politely, with another hat tip. "I'll bring him back if I can." And then he was walking away. The words stayed with her for the rest of the day. She wanted it to be her that brought him back to his real life, and then it occurred to her that she probably wasn't going to get over Dev anytime soon, if at all. Should she go find him? Should she try to rekindle their love? He had clearly been distraught at having to leave her, so maybe she had at least a small chance.  
  
That night at work, she asked her friend Nina for advice over break.  
  
"I really miss him, but I don't know if he'd want me back," Monica told her, absently stirring a sugar cube into her tea.  
  
"If you care that much about him, you should just go talk to him. Get drinks together and talk it out, tell him how you feel. Who knows, maybe he feels the same way." Nina sipped her own tea and took a delicate bite of a digestive biscuit from one of the tins on the counter.  
  
"Do you think so?" Monica asked. She sighed, and added, "It almost feels like he's trying to protect me from something. Maybe he broke up with me to keep me safe. Cruel to be kind, you know?"  
  
"Well he is a copper. Maybe he doesn't want you getting mixed up with the lot that he deals with? Thinks you wouldn't be safe with him, maybe?"  
  
"I don't know." She shook her head. It did make sense, and it seemed like the kind of thing Dev would do. Pushing her away to keep her safe... Well, that decided it then. "I think I will go see him though," she said decisively after a moment of silence.  
  
"Yeah?" Nina leaned forward, smiling excitedly. "D'you think he's really worth it?"  
  
Of course he was. And Monica Hicks didn't need protecting; she wanted to help him, be there for him, love him; dammit, she missed him and his ever-present opera records so much.  
  
"He is," Monica answered, and she soon found herself grinning back like a schoolgirl with a crush, Nina's infectious excitement rubbing off on her. "Like you said, I do care an awful lot about him, and I'd hate to miss an opportunity to get him back." She paused a minute to think. "I'll go tomorrow afternoon." Nina nodded excitedly, still grinning, and said, "Go get your man back, Monica." Then their break was over and it was back to work.  
  
Monica slept late the next morning, but by early afternoon she was feeling confident and ready to talk things out with Dev. She would tell him how she felt, they'd clear up any misunderstandings, and hopefully Dev would return to his normal life with her. Just as she was about to leave, she remembered she'd given the address to Inspector Thursday. Not that it mattered, she realized; she had memorized it by accident.  
  
In the twenty minutes it took to get to the house, Monica went through what she'd say to Dev. She had to make this work; both her and Dev's future happiness could depend on it. She just hoped Dev could let go of his stubborn pride enough to see that she was right and that they should be together.  
  
Before she knew it, she was coming to a stop in front of an old house by a lake, the scooter's brakes protesting a little. She turned off the engine and took a deep breath to calm herself. 'This is Dev, what are you so worried about, Monica?' she asked herself, the thought coming out in her mother's voice as they often tended to do when she thought about men and relationships. 'You're right Mum; it's just Dev.'  
  
With another deep breath, she stood and walked purposefully toward the house. She knocked on the door and stepped back a little to admire the plants on the porch, which surprisingly hadn't wilted yet. He did have more time to take care of plants now, she supposed.  
  
The door opened and suddenly she was met with a very familiar face. Endeavour's eyes widened in surprise when he saw her, and she smiled a bit shyly. His hair was rather in need of a trim, she noted absently, and he was wearing a dark red sweater instead of his usual suit.  
  
"Hello, Dev," she said.  
  
  
"I had to see you. I've — missed you. I've missed us. So much." Monica looked deeply into his eyes, trying to convey without words just how much she'd missed him.  
  
"You have?" Dev asked softly, eyes full of hope, relief, and love, and just a little sadness. "I've missed you - us - too. But- I didn't think you'd want me back. Not after I deserted you the way I did." He shook his head. "I'm sorry Monica, I shouldn't have done that." He looked truly sorry, and Monica couldn't stand to see him look so sad. She opened her mouth to say she forgave him, but he beat her to it.  
  
"I did have my reasons though. I suppose I didn't want to endanger anyone else in the police force, or my personal life for that matter. I couldn't—" he swallowed, eyes moving to the floor. "I couldn't stand to see you get hurt, especially not because of me, so I left. I couldn't put you in danger like that." Dev's voice was raw and full of feeling, and it hit Monica like a blow to the stomach how much he must love her if he was willing to give her up to protect her.  
  
"Oh Dev..." Monica's heart was breaking, and she cupped his cheek and kissed him very gently. "Endeavour, I want to be part of your life anyway!" She said, carding her fingers through his hair. "I love you! I don't care if that puts me in danger." He blushed and dropped his gaze to the floor again. "I want to be with you no matter what."  
  
"I want to be with you too," he said quietly. He kissed her again, smiling when he broke away. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."  
  
Monica laughed happily and pulled him into a hug. "I would love to spend the rest of our lives together. I wouldn't want anything else." She was grinning now, looking lovingly into his eyes. He laughed too and looked at her like she was his whole world.  
  
"Thank god," he said. "What did I ever do to deserve you, Monica?"  
  
She just smiled and ran her fingers through his hair again. A thought popped into her head and she said, "You really need to get this cut, Dev."  
  
He laughed. "Maybe you can help me out with that." And he leaned down to kiss her one more time.  
  
They talked a while longer and she eventually went inside, the two of them feeling secure and happy in their own private world. What they did after was no one's business but their own.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking of writing little ficlets about their life after this (or before idk) like maybe their wedding, or day-in-the-life type things. Would anyone be interested?
> 
> Comments appreciated!


End file.
